Dealing with a breakup or divorce

A breakup or divorce can be one of the most stressful and emotional experiences in your life, affecting your health and wellbeing at work and at home. 

Whatever the reason for the split, when a relationship ends, it can be a painful process and take time to move on.

Even if it wasn't a healthy relationship, you are likely to experience profound disappointment, stress and grief.

Dealing with a breakup or divorce can be hard, but It’s important to keep reminding yourself that you can and will get through this.

In this blog, we’ll take a look at some of the things that can help you do just that.

It’s okay to have different feelings

It’s normal to have intense feelings of sadness, anger, exhaustion, frustration, confusion and anxiety.

Reactions like these will lessen over time and you should accept that all of these feelings are perfectly natural, because venturing into the unknown is an overwhelming experience.

Give yourself a break

It’s okay to not feel your best. You might not be as productive in your job or care for others in exactly the same way as you used to. 

You’re not superhuman. Take time to heal and re-energise yourself.

Don’t go through this alone

Isolating yourself can raise your stress levels and affect your existing relationships, work and overall health. 

Share your feelings with friends and family. 

If you’d prefer to speak to others in a similar situation, you might consider joining a support group. 

Above all, don’t be afraid to get help.

Take care of your physical and mental health

Be good to yourself and your body. 

Keep to your normal routines and make time to exercise, eat well and relax. 

Don’t use alcohol, drugs or cigarettes as a way to cope. They will only lead to more problems.

Avoid arguments 

If a discussion with your spouse or former spouse starts to turn into a fight, walk away or hang up the phone.

Remove yourself from the situation and calmly suggest that you both try talking again later.

Explore your own interests

This could be an opportunity to reconnect with some of the things you enjoy doing but hadn’t been able to. 

Have you always wanted to take up painting? Sign up for a class.

Take time to enjoy life and make new friends.

Think positively

This is easier said than done. 

However, finding new activities and friends and giving yourself some reasonable goals can make this transition easier. 

Be flexible

Life goes on, but don’t make yourself feel bad about adjusting things to work around you.

If you have children, family traditions will still be important but don’t be afraid to make a few small changes or create new traditions.

Dealing with children

Whenever children are involved, it adds an extra layer of complexity and stress to a breakup or divorce.

Make sure they know that this isn’t their fault. Listen to and ease their concerns.

Be compassionate but don’t be afraid to be direct in your responses.

Try to keep their routines as familiar and stable as possible and offer consistent discipline when it comes to things like bedtime.

Make and keep realistic promises but don’t overly confide in them about the separation.

Above all, don’t involve your children in the conflict. Avoid arguing with or talking negatively about your former partner in front of the children.

 

It’s important to remember that life will get back to normal.

However, you also need to recognise that normal is likely to be different from what it used to be.

Hopefully, these few tips can help you to navigate through a stressful time. 

For employers with staff who are dealing with a breakup or divorce, our occupational health services can help to offer support during this painful process.

To find out more, contact the team at Fusion now.

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Categories: Health & WellbeingOccupational HealthSupport

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